This is sort of the beginning of my "Niche" phase, which would eventually see me turn from wide-eyed rookie into a regular with a regular post at Gillette.
In this post I get to use a radio for the first time. It's hilarious reading how giddy I was just to listen to it as the event wore on. Some people I've worked with more recently would be shocked to see how giddy and childlike I was back then.
This was originally written September 24, 2007
Let me just start off with a few notes from the BC-Army game I worked on Saturday:
I got to wear a radio and headset for the game. I was positioned in front of some luxury boxes, and the position is in a weird place, where nobody can really see me. So in case I need a supervisor or anything else, I have the radio to communicate.
Listening to the behind the scenes radio for a game is interesting. I knew EVERYTHING that was going on in the Stadium and I couldn’t even see the field. I knew that the Army band was pissed because BC didn’t provide them with free water. I knew that the President of the College was getting flowers delivered to his box. I knew that some guy passed out from the heat, and that a child was missing. She was eventually reunited with her family.
Unfortunately, my radio call-name sucked compared to everyone else’s names. There were names like Romeo 3, Sierra 2, Alpha 5, Command, Observation. And there I was with Uniform 8-1. Shitty. I wanted to be something cool like Fire Team Bravo, or Red Devil 7.
I also got to see Al Skinner (BC’s basketball coach) on his way out after the game. He walked right by me. Nice guy.
Now to the Bills/Patriots game. I woke up at 5 to work this game. I had to get myself ready, drive up to Quincy to pick up my friend, then drive back down to Foxborough to get there by 7:15 AM. That’s right, 7:15 AM. That’s very early for a Sunday. I have never, in my life, woken up earlier than 7 AM on a Sunday before. But it was worth it.
My friend (the one I picked up in Quincy) got hired just this week. She told me a hilarious story from her orientation. The woman sitting next to her said “I know we can’t ask for autographs from the players, or talk to them, but is there any rule against dating them?” Now, I met this girl, and she was cute, but she wasn’t “dating an NFL player” cute. Not by any stretch of the imagination. It’d be like an average looking guy asking “Is it okay if we screw cheerleaders at halftime?” It’s not gonna happen!
The atmosphere at Gillette Stadium for a 1 PM game against Buffalo is much different than an 8:30 PM game against San Diego. There wasn’t as much fire (or alcohol) in the crowd. It was also pretty warm for the first day of fall, a sunny 82 degrees. But I was in the shade the whole time. The warm weather was good, because it means I won’t catch another cold, and it also means the cheerleaders weren’t bundled up in baggy jogging suits.
I was deployed to sections 137 and 138. If you’re watching on TV, I’m a few sections to the left of where the camera is sitting. It’s a pretty good view of the field. It was in the shade, and there weren't many standing room people.
The Patriots got off to a slow start, which definitely had an impact on the fans. People were more pissed off at me than normal when I asked to see their tickets. The standing room people were more belligerent about standing behind the red line. “Why? Why do I have to stand behind the red line?”
And I swear to God, the next person who comes up to me with a standing room ticket and asks me “Where should I go?” I’m just gonna eject from the Stadium for being stupid. Standing room only = only go where there’s room to stand!
Once the Pats started scoring touchdowns, the fans were much happier. Having the first few beers of the day probably didn’t hurt either. I still had to deal with a few complaints, but nothing major. The no-alcohol section is 238, right above mine, and a nice old lady complained that someone brought beer to the section. Call the supervisor over, he kicked him out. To quote my supervisor from the BC game “I love ejections.”
Another person complained about a guy puking in the section. She didn’t care about the guy as much as she cared about the puke. Call a supervisor, he calls housekeeping, they clean up the mess. Everybody’s happy (except the person who has to clean it, I bet).
I had one douche bag think he was cool. He extended his hand as if he were offering a high 5 to me. I complied, then he stuffed a wet paper towel in my hand. That pissed me off. He kept walking, but I told his friend “Tell your buddy it’s not smart to mess with a guy who can toss you out of the Stadium.” I didn’t say the best part, either. If he’s a season ticket holder, and gets one solid complaint from an usher, his tickets are revoked. BOOM! This game was definitely a power trip for me.
I’m not a mean guy. And I politely ask people to follow the rules. I let a lot of stuff roll right off my shoulders. And I’ll bend the rules and let people talk to their friends in the section, or take pictures and stuff. If you’re making fun of my hair (I’m in desperate need of a haircut but I’m too lazy), that’s fine. I’ll even laugh along. I had some guy call me Wayne Campbell last week and I thought it was hilarious. But when you try to push me, I have to push you back. I feel kind of bad doing it, but there’s about 1,000 people in my section, 100 trying to sneak into my section, and 100 trying to stand where they’re not supposed to. Any leak becomes a flood.
Back to the game, which was fun to watch. Another 38 special. I saw 4 Patriot touchdowns right in front of me in the 2nd and 3rd quarters. I also had a perfect view of Welker’s lateral to Moss, which was simply a beautiful play to watch. It was like they planned it.
The final touchdown, a Brady to Moss bomb, was going away from my end of the field, but I still had a great view. I could see Moss go deep right off the bat, and everyone in the place knew what was going to happen before it did. The Stadium exploded as the ball was caught, the points were scored, and the victory was sealed.
Then the gradual exiting began. People leaving right after the TD, then right after the Bills punted, then right after we punted, then when Samuel got an INT, then when we turned the ball over on downs, and so on.
Then people try to sneak into the section. “Excuse me sir, can I see your tickets?” “Umm, I forgot them” they mumble as they turn and walk away.
Then you get people who whine and complain. “But there’s only two of us.” Yeah, but then there’s 50 other people who will say to me “But you let them down.” Then there’s the one season ticket holder who will get annoyed down there that some kids from the 300 level are swearing or something. Then that guy sends an e-mail to my bosses, then we get in trouble.
One thing that kind of sucked was that I was the ONLY usher in the Stadium that was by myself. Everyone else was doubled up at their section. I saw a few sections with 4 or 5 ushers. But I was all alone. Which I guess means they think I’m the best usher there. Strangely enough, my friend got redeployed and wound up working the section next to mine. What are the odds of that? About 75 to 1.
But my skills as an usher are being honed, and I feel like I’m developing into a top quality customer service/security/event staffer guy. One important skill is being able to remember whose tickets I’ve already checked. It’s annoying to be asked for a ticket every time you go up and down for a beer, so I try my best to remember people. Sometimes, they’ll be wearing something, like a certain Red Sox hat, or a BC shirt, or a USC key chain, or sunglasses, or tattoos, anything to trigger my memory. Also, watching people leave the section is a good idea, because your short term memory will retain them for a few minutes while they take a piss and get some beer. Looking people in the eyes is also a good indicator. Do they look like they’ve seen you before? Do they look like they know where they’re going? Do they look like they belong?
The three best moments, apart from the touchdowns, were as follows:
3: Toward the end of the 4th quarter, this girl from the standing room section walked up to me and started talking to me. At first I thought that she just wanted a better view of the game, but she really seemed more into me than anything else. She didn’t even watch the game while talking to me. I told her I graduated Ithaca College, she was from Binghamton. I told her I was a film major, and my cousin directed Cold Case (actually he was the director of photography, but I didn’t feel like explaining what that was), and she said it was her favorite show. She was pretty cute, pretty drunk, and her boyfriend was pretty pissed.
2: A young intoxicated woman was lost. She was in the wrong section. I pointed to the section she should go to, but she insisted that I take her over there. She then begged me to take her over there. As I mentioned earlier, I was alone at my post so I couldn’t leave (there are cameras watching us constantly). I would have taken her over there if I had support, even if she wasn’t hot, which she was. Then she started essentially feeling me up, which I didn’t mind at all. But I still had to send her off by herself.
1: A girl with a generous bust asked me if she needed a ticket to get back down. She asked “Will you remember me?” then pointed to her chest and winked. I smiled and said “Definitely.”
I don’t know what exactly caused these girls (and that one guy I mentioned in my previous post about working the Chargers game) to go after me. Maybe the green uniform does it for them. Maybe it’s the allure of the power I wield. My guess is that it’s the alcohol.
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