I'm into the heart of my "Niche" phase with this job in this piece, which was written on November 5, 2007. I know more people, and by now I've got a regular spot ushering in the North End Zone. I know a bit more what to expect in games, and the routine shit doesn't even enter my mind.
Meteorologists must get commission from grocery stores when predicting foul weather. They always seem to call for the worst weather imaginable. The forecast for Chestnut Hill on Saturday included predictions of 40 MPH winds, with gusts in the 60s, and driving rain all night. The weather would be nowhere near as Apocalyptic. The most dismal aspect of Saturday night’s game would be Matt Ryan, not the remnants of Hurricane Noel.
I had been looking forward to working this game all season. I had gotten up early to work the Army game, the Bowling Green blow out, and the all-too-close UMass game. But this was special. This was Florida State. This was a nationally televised game. This was ACC football.
For those of you who watched the game on television, you do not require a summary of what happened. You know how poorly Matt Ryan played, how little Boston College ran the ball, how mistake free the Seminoles played, and the end result. Here are some things that weren’t on television:
The rain.
It stopped raining in the first quarter, but it had been pouring all morning, afternoon, and evening. The wind and the cold seemingly amplified the intensity of the rain. I was fortunate enough to be positioned underneath an overhang. But my feet were still soaked. By the start of the game, I could not feel them. The field was soaked through, like a big, wet carpet. This would be noticeable throughout the game.
Florida State’s immaturity.
After their pre-game warm-ups, the Seminoles ran to the BC logo at the 50 yard line and danced on it, mockingly. After the game, several FSU players took off bandanas from their heads and threw them into the BC student section. Almost all of the FSU players gave a mocking gesture toward the BC fans. The last instance of childish behavior was the most bizarre. Two of my coworkers actually caught a pair FSU players trying to get back onto the field after they had exited. They were both carrying scissors, with the intention of cutting a chunk of turf from the field. They were apprehended, their scissors confiscated, and they had to leave the premises.
I actually took this childish behavior by the Seminoles as a compliment to Boston College. Here was Bobby Bowden’s Florida State Seminoles dancing on the BC logo, celebrating an UPSET win over Boston College, trying to take a piece of the Alumni Stadium turf. When beating you becomes a major accomplishment for your opponent, that’s when you know that you’ve made it.
I wasn’t upset by the loss. In fact, I expected it. I always expect BC to collapse and lose a game that they should win. I was actually quite happy. Saturday night I got my first ejection!
I was positioned in the student section, the only part of the Stadium that resembles true college football atmosphere. There is a lot of drinking in the student section, even though no alcohol is sold or allowed. I was standing in the aisle, and this guy walks in nonchalantly carrying a Bud Light can. I was overjoyed. I’ve been looking forward to my first ejection ever since I got this job.
“Buddy hold on a minute. You can’t have that here.” He put the can down on the ground and tried to continue walking. “No, no, no, you’ve gotta go, you’re out of here.” I picked up the can, led him to some EMS workers, and asked them to call the BC Police. We waited, and the guy was actually very cooperative. He didn’t resist, didn’t argue. He commented on his stupidity because the can was practically empty. The BCPD arrived and dealt with him (escorted him out of the Stadium).
There was another incident that didn’t go as well. I saw a guy with a Busch Light can. He tried hiding it from me, but it was too late. He asked if he could chug it and I said “No, you’ve got to come with me.” He then took a swig from it, and I yelled. “Buddy, I can either tell the cops you’re being cooperative or you’re being difficult, which is it?”
He replied “I’m a law student, you’re just a…”
I interrupted him and said “Your pupils are dilated, pal, you’re drunk, let’s go.”
Here’s the thing, though: I can’t physically bring him to the police. At Boston College, we’re not security. Legally we can’t put our hands on the fans. I took the beer from him and he slipped back into the student section. Rule #1 when working the student section is to not go anywhere alone. I had to let him go. Even if I chased him, I couldn't do anything had I caught him. Oh, well.
After the game, my section was littered with a few dozen Miller Lite cans, an empty bottle of Jack, and a hotel mini-bar sized bottle of Brandy (very smart on a cold night). That’s what happens when you don’t do pat downs.
Since I got this job, I’ve been sexually harassed, had men dance with me (Brazilians), and have been come on to dozens of times. What happened to me Saturday night was full blown molestation. Or was it? Is it still molestation if one consents to it after the fact?
This smoking hot BC coed was walking up the aisle. I maneuvered to let her by. On her way, the palm of her hand grazed - caressed, even - my crotch. She then gave me a devilish smile and continued on her way. I don’t know if it was incidental contact, or if it was on purpose. I do know that the look she gave me was one of approval, and not one of “Sorry, I didn’t mean to do that.”
What does one do in that situation? Do I grab her chest in response? Do I say something like “Now that you’ve met me and my associate, want to do something after the game?” Or do I giggle?
I giggled.
Back to the game. There were many dejected BC fans after the loss. This was, after all, the #2 team in the country losing to an unranked opponent at home. However, there wasn’t much rage amongst the fans. I don’t know if this is good or bad. It was good for me and my coworkers, but on a larger scale, I’m still not sure. Shouldn’t you be pissed after your team plays like crap and costs themselves a bid at the national title? Shouldn’t you be pissed that Matt Ryan had 9 carries and your two RBs combined for 11? Shouldn’t you be pissed that your team was on national TV, being watched by possible recruits, and they embarrassed themselves? I was somewhat disappointed (yet also relieved) at the lack of anger displayed by the BC fans.
About a week ago, I worked the Patriots’ televised scrimmage against Washington. It was an uneventful game and an uneventful event. I had some really drunk, really loud Redskins fans in my section. I had to tell them to watch their language because kids were around. One of them said in a Virginian accent “But we use language like this at FedEx Field all the time.”
To which, I replied “Well this is Gillette Stadium, home of the Patriots, we cheat, we run up the score, but we do NOT swear.” Joking with them like this got them to watch the language, which was good because their team’s performance would have induced torrents of profanity otherwise.
The coolest moment of the evening involved a little boy, about 9 or 10 years old. He tried going down into my section. We stopped him but told him that if he could find someone willing to give him their ticket on the way out, he could go down. He found a ticket, and went all the way down to the front row. After the game, the Patriots players run by the section on the way to the locker room. Heath Evans ran all the way over and gave the kid his gloves. The kid immediately put the gloves on. It was the most adorable moment of the season.
The game also saw what was probably the last time the Patriots cheerleaders will be wearing skimpy clothing. But they went out with a bang. It was three days before Halloween, and the girls were dressed for the occasion. There was a schoolgirl, a nurse, a maid, a construction worker, a cop, a pirate, a fairy, Minnie Mouse, Snow White, Alice in Wonderland, Strawberry Shortcake, and strangely enough Sherlock Holmes.
Without a doubt, my favorite one was the girl scout. Her skirt was so short, it was more like a belt with little bits of fabric hanging down from it. With autumn upon us, it may be the last time the cheerleaders dress in their scandalous outfits.
I’ve been working Boston College hockey, as well. It’s a pretty easy gig, and I love college hockey. Conte Forum has a good atmosphere, but it’s nowhere near the intensity of Cornell’s Lynah Rink. We had some difficulties on opening night. #1 ranked North Dakota came to town (BC was ranked 4th then) but it was abnormally humid out. We were having difficulty keeping the building cold enough for the ice remain frozen.
Two massive dehumidifiers installed for the game caused such a power drain that we lost electricity 10 minutes before the puck was scheduled to be dropped. This caused a delay but was eventually fixed. Then in between the first and second periods, the lights once again went out. After two periods of play, the officials called the game, and it ended as a 0-0 tie. I was disappointed, but I was also happy to get out of there. I’ve never sweat so much in an ice rink before.
The humidity caused a layer of fog to form, hovering at ice level. This happened last year when BC hosted the Terriers of Boston University. But that game was quickly cancelled and easily rescheduled. It would have been much more difficult to reschedule a match with North Dakota.
The next week, BC hosted Merrimack College, thrashing them 7-1. I didn’t see a single second of hockey, but I did wind up with the best post on campus. In the adjacent gym, BC women’s volleyball hosted Duke, and I was assigned to guard the doorway. I don’t know what it is about tall girls, there’s just something about them, though. I fell in love with #11, who had the longest legs and shortest shorts on the team. She also had the most kills (15) for the Eagles in their loss to Duke.
Up next are some games of lower interest. The Revolution host the MLS Eastern Conference Finals on Thursday night, BC hockey hosts Merrimack again, BC football doesn‘t play at home until the 24th against Miami, and the undefeated Patriots don‘t play at home until the 25th.
Some of my ushering statistics:
Events worked: 17
Ejections: 1
Ejection threats: 14
Uncomfortably hit on/fondled: 6
Times I’ve heard “Shipping up to Boston”: 34
No comments:
Post a Comment